Constructing a Worthwhile Existence in 2025.
How I hope to move forward after a destabilizing start to the year.
Where do we go from here? And other questions I am contemplating, and maybe you are too.
There’s always that line, a couple weeks into the new year, when you question whether or not it’s too late to keep saying, happy new year! This year in LA, it felt like the new year kind of came to a halt just one week in. When I hear people say happy new year, I think oh yeah, that.
I think for those of us that did not vote for the current administration, we thought inauguration day was going to be the worst part of January (and it’s been bad). Then on 1/7, the fires in LA started. I realize that there’s a lot of content to consume right now about what’s happening in LA. I’m grateful that people have writing as a form of processing, myself included, although I don’t know that I’ll have too much to add that isn’t already circulating around out there. But as my nervous system continues to toggle between the impulse to flee a city that I love, and the impulse to freeze in fear, it feels important to put into words and onto a page, the part of me that still has hope. Because I know this is a place I’ll likely need to return to again and again, this year and beyond, to remind me of the places where safety still exists.
My friend Jennifer shared a podcast episode with me, I Ching for 2025 from Chinese Medicine Matters. It’s a quick listen and I highly recommend everyone listen to it, especially those of us moving through another Trump presidency. The inspiration for this post came from a few places—that episode, conversations I’ve had with friends, my own quiet contemplations, and from a need to not collapse into hopelessness.
So how can we construct a worthwhile existence during such trying times? At moments you might find me answering that with, who the fuck knows? Which is why I am writing this out, again as a place to come back to when that answer is all I can find. Some of these may feel obvious, some of them not so much, but I hope some of this lands with you as a spark to keep going.
Social engagement and connection is everything. I have never felt more connected to my people than I did during the height of the wildfires here in LA. Ollie and I were taken in for a few days by sweet friends, and remained in touch with so many people in my life, all gathering in our shared humanity and love for each other. This ability to give and take space with the people in our lives is going to be one of the things that continues to save us. And it’s good to remember that this is always available to us, not just during a disaster.
Being inconvenienced as a form of resistance. I know this has been a theme in many people’s lives for a long time, as a doable way to resist capitalism. But if I’m being honest, I’ve been more lax with this than I’d like to admit. Convenience really is one hell of a drug, but it feels more important than ever to connect our spending and our values, and to avoid giving money to companies that give zero fucks about the average person existing on this planet. For me this is going to mean planning ahead more, so there’s less of “I need this thing and I need it now.”
Being inconvenienced as a form of community care. Sometimes taking care of one another requires us to be inconvenienced. This is not the same as suppressing our own needs, but rather allowing the pendulum to swing. Our ability to do this exists within our ability to be flexible. Sharing resources (time, space, money, sustenance, skills etc) with the community might mean less of that thing for you right now, but again, if we can adapt to the moment we are in and be flexible with how much we need, we’ll likely find that our “okay-ness” exists on a spectrum. Mutual aid is not just about giving or just about receiving. It’s a pot for all of us to access when we’re in need and to add to when we’re able.
Taking care of one another like it’s our job. Because it is. The systems that are in place are not going to take care of us in the way we need, especially more vulnerable communities. And the few systems that do still exist might be taken away by the current administration, so it’s on us to show up, organize, tend to others and be tended to ourselves. We all have things we can offer the world, ways we can be of service to others. What are your gifts and how can you make them accessible?
Embracing even the smallest glimmers of love, joy, play, fun, softness. Leaning into joy and fun and ease every single day. I’ve started keeping a list in my phone of fun things to do. Some of them are very small and easy to access, while others require a bit more planning. I sure do love a list.
Committing to practices that are slow and quiet. The world is a noisy freaking place. Quieter practices could be meditation, qi gong, tai chi, dance, laying under a tree or a sunny sky, making art. Slow, quiet, and intentional habits not only keep us grounded, but they can help to offset the overwhelm that can come from the chaos existing in the world around us. I probably say this at least once a week in my practice, that we can’t necessarily eliminate stressors from our lives, but there is lots we can do to help adapt the way we respond to the stressors that can keep us from getting overwhelmed.
Limit media consumption and put down the phone. The past few weeks have shown me how looped in I am to the cycle of trying to stay informed while also trying to manage the anxiety that gets heightened by being glued to my devices. In a recent interview with Politico, Pete Buttigieg, former US Secretary of Transportation, talked about the challenge of media and misinformation. “We have all of these digital connections and are more disconnected than ever. We’ve never had more information coming at us and yet, never have we been less informed about what’s going on.” We’re all guilty of maybe hitting the share button a little too quick. If we see a headline that incites panic, it’s on us to dig a little deeper for a source. The more time I spend on my phone, the more I see my attention span dwindling. I’m grateful to have fast access to important information, and it feels necessary to stay informed, but moving forward it feels equally important to be more intentional with my screen time.
Meet uncertainty with preparation. It feels like we’ve entered an era where things are moving more quickly than ever. When the winds really picked up and the fires started and I left my house, I realized how incredibly unprepared I was for a situation like this. I think a lot of people felt that way. I’m now contemplating what I need to do for myself to feel more prepared. I’ve also been chatting with friends about coming up with plans together as a community, just sharing ideas and thoughts about how to keep ourselves and each other safe during uncertain times.
Remembering the full spectrum of emotions. We are complex beings with a wide range of emotional experiences. Most of us welcome some emotions while shunning others. When we don’t allow ourselves to access and express certain emotions, we cut ourselves off from the process of allowing something difficult to complete so we can move on. If you’re feeling angry and sad over the state of so many things right now, of course you are. Allow your big emotions to remind you that your humanity is still intact and that you can use that big energy to mobilize and make a difference.
Be consistent with self-care. Don’t wait until you burn out to start taking care of yourself. Things I’ll be doing is taking my supplements (lots of adrenal support and magnesium!), getting acupuncture/bodywork, moving my body, spending time with friends, unplugging, resting, being in nature, baking, cooking, stretching. This list will fluctuate, but my goal is to make sure I’m staying consistent with some form of self-care.
Most people I’m talking to are experiencing more anxiety than usual. Here’s a somatic practice I do a lot with my own patients during sessions when difficult emotions arise, including anxiety. This is a gentle practice, but if anything starts to feel uncomfortable or overwhelming during this practice, please take a break and come back to it at another time. Often when we’re learning how to be with painful emotions, it can be really helpful to work with a trauma-informed professional. If you’re outside of LA and could use some support, I’m happy to help you find someone in your area to work with. In the meantime, here’s the practice.
A somatic exercise for when discomfort arises
When you’re feeling anger, worry, sadness, grief, overwhelm… allow yourself to notice how you know you feel this particular feeling. What tells you that you are, say, worried? Maybe a heaviness in the chest or a movement of energy upward into your head. Now as you notice the sensation of that, move your attention into your arms. From your shoulders down to your elbows, into your wrists and hands and fingers. You aren’t trying to make your arms do anything, you are just noticing that you have arms. Allow yourself to swing back and forth between the area that feels uncomfortable and your arms. After a few rounds of that, replace bringing your attention to your arms with bringing your attention to your legs. Just notice your legs, from your hips down to your knees, calves, ankles, feet, toes. Just notice you have legs. Then, swing back and forth between noticing your legs and noticing the area of discomfort a few times. Checking back in with the emotion, has anything shifted with the sensation or awareness of that emotion?
I imagine this list will continue to grow and adapt as time keeps moving. I’ll share more as that happens. Happy lunar new year, the year of the Yin Wood Snake. ;)
Ok, thanks for reading. Talk soon. xoxo
This is a powerful piece! It addresses both sides of what so many feel yet are still speechless! It led me back what matters & that was what i desperately needed.
Thank you, Kaylie!